Over his 18-year career playing in the major leagues, Richie Hebner worked each offseason as a gravedigger at cemeteries managed by his father. About a decade after he retired as a player, Hebner finally laid down his pick and shovel.
Yet Hebner didn’t get out of the funeral business. These days, he drives a hearse.
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“It’s a nice, little side job,” Hebner said. “You get out of the house for four hours, you make decent money and you don’t have to bust your ass. Plus, you’re around dead people, so you get no f*cking complaints.”
Hebner paused and chuckled. He was known for being a straight-shooter, a hard worker and a bit of a prankster for five decades as a player and coach with the Pirates and seven other clubs. When I rang his cellphone a few days ago, Hebner was sitting on his porch in Walpole, Mass., enjoying a beer on a sunny afternoon.
“I’m 72 years old and feel like I’m in my 30s,” he said. “I stay active, always puttering around. If you just sit around when you retire, you’ll soon be in the back of my (hearse), riding to the boneyard.”
Hebner’s wife and one of his daughters are nurses at a hospital on the outskirts of Boston. Another daughter is a nurse in Chicago. All three women are on the front lines of the battle against COVID-19.
“That’s a tough gig right now,” Hebner said. “When they get dressed at work, it looks like they’re going up to space, with masks and gloves and everything.”
Although the virus is taking a horrible toll on human lives, Hebner said he’s driving the hearse less often than usual during this pandemic. With large funeral gatherings forbidden, Hebner figures more people are either forgoing traditional ceremonies or opting for cremation.
“Before this virus came, I was doing four or five funerals a week — busy,” he said in a quiet voice. “I had my white shirt and tie on most every day. Now, it’s a half-hour viewing, the priest says a few prayers, we go to the cemetery and that’s it. There are no wakes. It’s tough on the families. There’s really no closure. It’s sad. And you don’t know when it’s going to end.”
Richie Hebner was the Pirates’ starting third baseman from 1969 to 1976.
A first-round pick in 1966, Hebner replaced Maury Wills as the Pirates’ everyday third baseman. Hebner’s first hit was a single off St. Louis Cardinals ace Bob Gibson on Opening Day 1969. Hebner didn’t ask for the ball because he didn’t want the future Hall of Famer to think he was being upstaged by a rookie and plunk somebody. “Gibson was a (jerk),” Hebner said flatly.
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Hebner spent his first nine seasons in the majors with the Pirates. He was among the runners-up for the National League MVP Award in 1974, when he hit .291 with 18 homers. The following year, however, Hebner’s stats plummeted and the Pirates cut his salary. After the 1976 season, Hebner signed a free-agent deal with the Phillies.
“I did not want to leave Pittsburgh,” Hebner said. He claimed Pirates owner John Galbreath offered him a contract for $270,000 over three years. The Phillies gave him $600,000.
“I didn’t go to Harvard or Yale, but I’m not stupid,” Hebner said. “You wouldn’t believe the letters I got from (fans in) Pittsburgh, calling me an asshole. If they had only known. Two-seventy or six-hundred (thousand dollars) — it’s a no-brainer, isn’t it?”
Although Hebner put up good numbers for two years in Philly, he became expendable when they signed Pete Rose. A week before the 1979 season, Hebner was traded to the New York Mets. In early May, with the Mets already well on their way to a last-place finish in the NL East, manager Joe Torre called a team meeting.
“He says, ‘Guys, we’re down by a touchdown in the third inning every day. Let’s try to win two games a week. Let’s win Monday and Tuesday and get it over with.’ I almost fell off my chair,” Hebner said. “All these young players were looking at each other and going, ‘I can’t believe the manager just said that.’ I went in Joe’s office later and told him that might be the greatest line I ever heard in baseball.”
The Pirates bought Hebner from the Detroit Tigers in August 1982. He played sporadically as a utilityman in ’83, then signed with the Chicago Cubs. “It was a nice reunion,” Hebner said. “I’m probably the only guy who left Pittsburgh twice as a free agent.”
Hebner’s last hit was a solo homer on Sept. 29, 1985, at Wrigley Field. Four days later, in the regular-season finale against the Pirates, he drew a walk as a pinch-hitter. The pitcher, righty Jim Winn, was only 8 years old when Hebner made his big-league debut.
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“I got a lot in common with Ted Williams,” Hebner said. “He hit a home run in his last at-bat, too. Of course, he knew he was going to retire. I got released the next spring.”
Hebner played in more than 1,900 games for five teams. He batted .276/.352/.438, appeared in nine playoff series, won a World Series ring and along the way picked up an inevitable nickname.
“Ah, the Gravedigger,” former Pirates outfielder Al Oliver said with a smile. When I mentioned that Hebner now spends his working hours in the front seat of a hearse, Oliver laughed.
“When he started out, he was digging graves,” Oliver said. “So, he’s been promoted? He’s moving up in the world.”
Hebner made the transition from digger to driver about 20 years ago while he also was the hitting coach and manager of the Pirates’ Triple-A affiliate in Nashville, Tenn. “When I’d come back home in September, I’d take my baseball uniform off, put my shirt and tie on and go to the church,” Hebner said.
As a manager, Hebner’s playful attitude helped him relate to his players. Bruce Tanner, who was on the coaching staff in Nashville, said Hebner used to buff and polish players’ dress shoes in the locker room after batting practice.
“One player had green shoes, but (Hebner) didn’t have that color polish so he polished them black,” Tanner said. “When he handed them back, the player said, ‘Hey, those shoes were green,’ and Richie said, ‘Not anymore.'”
Hebner also coached in the minors and majors for the Phillies, Red Sox, Blue Jays and Orioles. The whole time, he drove the hearse in the offseason. After the 2010 season, Hebner was driving in a funeral procession when his cellphone buzzed.
“I figured it’s not going to bother the guy in the back of the hearse, so I answered it,” Hebner said. “It was the Orioles’ farm director. He said, ‘I hate to tell you this, but we’re going to let you go.’ I put the phone down, looked into the back and said, ‘You think you’re having a bad day? I just got sh*t-canned.’ True story.”
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Hebner has been out of baseball since 2016 and finally has come to terms with full-on retirement. He insisted he doesn’t miss the game — “I watch very little baseball anymore,” he scoffed — but there was obvious pride in Hebner’s voice when he mentioned he’s one of two men (Bill Virdon is the other) who played and coached in a big-league uniform at Forbes Field, Three Rivers Stadium and PNC Park.
A couple of years ago, Hebner reached out to the Pirates front office, hoping for one last job with his old team. Nobody ever called back.
Hebner leaned back in his chair on the porch and apologized for going on so long. Connected by phone, I couldn’t see his reaction when I told him there’s no such thing as too many stories about the old days. But it sure felt like he smiled.
“Call me anytime,” Hebner said, then chuckled again. “If I don’t answer, there’s a real good chance I’m driving a hearse.”
(Photos courtesy of the Pittsburgh Pirates)
